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An itinerant observer and thinker about life in general, sharing some moments of wandering and wonderment.

Saturday 8 June 2013

BON VOYAGE TO DAD.

Yesterday was Dad's funeral, a sad day but also a celebration of a wonderful man's life.
He had been coping well with very advanced prostate cancer until a few months ago when he went into Addenbrooke's Hospital for radiotherapy, a severe and debilitating treatment. He then went into Arthur Rank Hospice in Cambridge for respite care but sadly for all of us he passed quietly and gently, peacefully away on the evening of 23rd of May, just under a week away of reaching the age of 79, but with good friends there to hold his hand. He had had many loving, caring visitors in those last weeks of his long, varied life.
He used to smoke a pipe years ago but gave up. He always said that if he reached the age of 80 he would smoke a pipe again, something we all thought he would be able to enjoy.
It was a sad loss for folk all over the world.
I was still in Wales at the time, coping with my own health problems and only managed to get up here a few days ago. Meanwhile his solicitor and neighbours all rallied round brilliantly, dealing with the various necessities for which I will be eternally grateful.
It seemed so strange coming into an empty house without Jilly and Millie to greet Ffin,
but they have been re-homed with a lovely lady who has a dog already so they are now two of a trio and I know they will adapt and have a great time being much adored by all.
It was also sad to see the garden so overgrown but yesterday morning it was lovely and sunny and I sat there in the warmth with a small glass of wine and raised it to Dad. All of a sudden I felt a huge feeling of peace and tranquillity come over me and felt much stronger.
I wandered around the garden, which despite being overgrown and the lawns unmown seemed to be so bright and cheerful with all the plants starting to blossom fully and with all the many birds darting in and out amongst the trees and on the bird feeders which Dad's lovely tenant keeps well refilled. All too soon it was time to get ready. Now ...
Dad had stipulated in his will that we could wear what we liked even wellies if we wanted to and some of us very nearly did but bottled out and just chose to dress brightly.
He had chosen to have a Humanist funeral (non religious) at Cambridge crematorium.
I had been asked what I wanted put on top of his coffin and I immediately said "Sunflowers because they are bright and smiley!" Well they didn't let me down in fact they excelled. When the hearse arrived at the house with the car to take us behind it ...
there was Dad's coffin covered in bright smiley faced sunflowers shining in the warm sun.
My first words were simply "WOW!"
There followed quite a long journey to the crematorium, luckily everyone else had made their own way there or we would have held up a lot of traffic and the sunflowers smiled.
Just before his coffin was carried into West Chapel we took photographs of the team.
Even they couldn't help but smile too!
The humanist service was lovely and the lady who conducted it was warm and lovely.
Two very close friends had compiled a very full resume of the amazing life that Dad had.
He was an innovative biologist and very skilled in his field and during his life, worked in the Cameroons, Ardnamurchan in Scotland, was Warden of Orielton Field Center where after two major tanker oils spills he started the Oil Pollution Research Unit, which was so innovative and successful that he was head hunted by B.P to take a senior position an ecological advisor, a job that took him all over the world and on many adventures.
He was instrumental in the need to look at tropical rain forest conservation, which he studied assiduously and wrote three published volumes about, he was a very busy man.
Then finally when my mother became ill, he resigned from B.P and started a recording studio, a job far different from anything else he had done in his life, but he became a well respected sound engineer and recorded everything from folk to classical music as well as spoken word, educational C.D's with accompanying books and many other  varied accomplishments. He was as ever an enthusiastic and very work centric man but one who enjoyed life immensly. During these last few years he has been busy writing articles and proof reading books about one of his passions in life ... sailing. He had owned his own boat at the age of 14, which he and his father restored, he did his National Service in the navy and went on to sail yachts during his time at Bangor University. Later in life he sailed on the tall ship the Phoenix, one of the many highlights of his life and he loved tall ships.
Sadly there were many who could not come to his funeral but it was well attended by folk from all varying areas of his life and it was lovely for me to meet people that he talked so fondly of that I had never met. It really was a lovely send off for a man of many talents.
There will be many across the world who will miss him but remember him very fondly.
One good friend, was brave enough to wear wellies at Dad's funeral. well done that man! 
The sunflowers were (but for the two above) brought back and shared out amongst his close neighbours, there were well over thirty of them on his coffin and made us all smile ...
... just as Dad made so many of us smile and laugh throughout his long and varied life.
He will be  missed by all of us that knew him and his lovely, fun, immense sense of humour.
I wish him ... Bon Voyage!
xxx

5 comments:

  1. Don't know why I've looked at your blog tonight, haven't read it for months......... Bravely put gal! Sad place to be. Thinking of you. Shepx

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  2. Thanks Shep,
    It's been a harrowing few months but at least he passed away peacefully, and we all remember him with fondness.
    Bless you,
    Dafad.

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  3. Thanks for putting this on your blog. We have mnany happy memories of recording with eric at Brewhouse Studio in the late 80s/early 90s. We made the first Artisan Christmas CD there. We recorded it in March 1990 and to celebrate finishing the tracking Ray and Eric made us a huge and slendiferous Christmas Dinner. The next day we drove home feeling that it should be Boxing Day when, in fact, it was Easter Sunday.

    Nice to talk to you earlier today, I hope we can come to the celebration of Eric sometime in the autumn.

    Jacey (Artisan)

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  4. Am looking forward to a really good get together,
    It will take time to organise but we will.
    Bless you.

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  5. Having just spoken to you I headed straight here. I am sorry that I have only just heard about your father, i would have made every effort to attend his funeral if I had known.
    Ray and Eric became very good friends with me and my ex wife back in the early 1980's when we met at a folk 'do' at the hall in Wicken. We then became involved in the Kidson project and when they set up Brewhouse Music I helped Eric convert the buildings into the studio building walls, soundproofing and installing the cabling and equipment.
    I spent many hours working with him behind the desks when recording and even did the plumbing and heating on the extension when they had that built (I was a plumber at the time)
    Many happy hours were also spent at the many get togethers they organised in the studio.
    I well remember the truffles your grandmother used to make for these gatherings. We used to refer to them as 'goat droppings' for obvious reasons!
    I am so glad that you and your father were able to have lots of good times together. I know how happy that would have made him.
    I will always have very fond memories of both of them and know they are missed by many people.

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